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Two hearts in 3/4 time

As I was standing at the bus stop this afternoon a thought occurred to me. I couldn't remember what it felt like to have my heart broken. I tried to cast my mind back to how I felt in November, 2003, and I can't fathom the sadness and depression I felt then after having broken up with Emma.

I do know I was devastated at the time. It was the first time I knew I was in love. I gave everything, my heart and my soul, over to loving her. So when we broke up it hit me really hard.

I know now in retrospect that I was blind to how bad our relationship had become. Our relationship was about 3 years, 2 at minimum, past its use by date.

As with any man who has been hurt badly, I've not been able to give my love so freely ever since.

I knew in my heart that inevitably, the defences would come down for somebody. No man is an island, and I'm no different. I just knew it would take time.

Hi Jess =)

ps (edit) not related to your post! I only read it after I posted this. I'm so sorry :/

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
loss4words
Jan. 9th, 2007 05:12 pm (UTC)
i understand.

dear, sweet, merciful god do i understand.

that just made me shiver, twice. no, two and a half times.

hold onto the good ones, and always, always pay attention.
xian
Jan. 9th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
It's funny, I just find it easier and easier to post this intensely personal stuff on my journal. It took me over two years to stop posting everything friends-only.

I'm sure it'll come back to bite me in the bum one day. But for now I quite like the feeling of getting these things off my chest.

Yeah, I do love Jess. I'm acutely aware of my actions this time around, though. I'm determined not to make the same mistakes again, however complacent I might get.
americanlass
Jan. 9th, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
Hey Steve :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )