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Frustration

Well, where do I start. I'm so frustrated with my father at the moment. I don't know if my Dad reads this but right now I don't care.

Last week Dad and Gail said they'd be happy to fund a small wedding for us. We'd have to find out prices and a suitable place, etc etc. Conversation followed on getting cheap celebrants and the like.

So Jess went nuts on finding out info, gathering all the information and prices on something cheap so we could have a wedding in July (when J & G, Jess's parents, come to visit). I had to work long hours out west all last week so wasn't of any help at all.

When I broached the subject today of sitting down and going through the options with Jess and me, he basically went on about how we had our priorities wrong, we obviously hadn't thought anything through when we left the UK as we hadn't informed him that we would be staying for so long with them, they had to re-arrange their lives just for us and that we should be focussing on getting Jess her visa, and getting married later.

He went on about money for a while, so basically his point seemed to be (and this is what I understood from what he said) was that I wasn't managing my finances properly, and he thought I should do things like so:

1. Get married quickly and as cheaply as possible (well the cheaply bit might have been implied)
2. Get the visa for Jess. Actually he implied we forget about the wedding until Jess had her visa.
3. Jess gets a job ASAP.

While it sounds like a lot of this was implied, its difficult to understand exactly what is at the heart of what my father says sometimes. By analysing it later, sometimes I can figure out what he was trying to say. In short "You should only be worrying about your finances at the moment Steve" which would be great advice except he's not getting married.

We've mentioned before that by getting married, we actually make it easier to get Jess's visa.
He also mentioned that we shouldn't be wasting our money on a wedding dress at this point. I have a feeling that he has developed a cynical view of marriage; and that he's just not that excited about the fact that for the first time ever, one of his children is about to get married.

What was really, really implied as 4. was that we move out as soon as possible and stop mooching off of him.

I can be a sarcastic prick at the worst of times, and here I'm no better. Don't worry Dad, we don't intend to be around too long either. We're only here long enough to get back on our feet! Just when Jess and I are feeling happy and positive about things, and feel like our plans to get back on our feet are going well, my father steps in and makes us feel like crap.

He's done this already before, about two weeks back when I got news I had gotten a fantastic job - and also the news that we'd be staying for longer while I got settled into my new job. He called me within minutes to accuse me of hating Gail (complete opposite of the truth) and that I was taking the bed and the car that he lets us drive for granted. Then, bitterly, congratulated me on getting a job and hung up.

So, if anyone in Mackay (or even if you are in Brisbane) knows of someone that might have a room spare room for say, six months or so, let me know. We'd be happy to pay rent/board. We are sick of having our emotions yo-yo'ed around. We won't be able to move out until I get 100% confirmation from work that they'll keep me on (next month) but I think unless something changes soon we'll be moving out as soon as possible after that.

Oh and so far the wedding will (tentatively, pending "funds") be held on the 14th July at the Botanic Gardens. We'll send invitations out sometime soon if it happens the way we'd like it to happen.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
bubblebee
Apr. 22nd, 2007 12:36 pm (UTC)
Best of luck finding somewhere to live!! Especially in Mackay ;(
soulwatcher
Apr. 22nd, 2007 01:06 pm (UTC)
That totally sucks. Sounds like frustration that neither of you need at this point. I so wish I could help in some way but I've got little to offer with regard to a place to stay. I also know that you guys want to stay in Mackay if at all possible.

Best of luck with it all.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )