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I've got my philosophy

Well, today and yesterday was probably the most depressed I have ever been in a long time; possibly not since Penny and I broke up.

I myself wasn't sure why until today at work; it all suddenly clicked at about 5pm when I went to get my pay cheque.

I can't think of any other way to say it; I don't want to dress it up. I got fired, got the sack. If I wanted to still work there, I would have tried to stay on, but I just wasn't happy working there, and I couldn't see how the working environment was going to get any better.

I got home, put some music on and bawled my eyes out for about fifteen minutes. I don't think it was losing my job that did it; that was just the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak. My depression had been building for several days. I am quite relieved now though that I don't have to work there. A bit scared of having to look for work, but more relieved that I don't have to try to get along at work anymore.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
hajime
Apr. 26th, 2002 05:18 am (UTC)
Too late to call again tonight?
xian
Apr. 26th, 2002 05:40 am (UTC)
If you want to call me on my mobile when I get back home, sure. I'll be back at home by around 11pm or so - then I can call you back on the landline. Don't call the landline, otherwise you'll wake the sleeping dragon ...

I intend to be up doing stuff all anyway.

Over the past few days, I've downloaded:
Games stuff -
Counter-strike v1.4 (Full) - 115mb
Half-life 1.1.0.8 patch (Full) - 77mb
Half-life 1.1.0.9 patch (Full) - 77mb
Day of Defeat v2.0 (Full - but then I accidentally overwrote it with a backup of a broken download, so now I'm going to download the whole thing again) - 140mb
Quake III Fortress v2.0 (Full) and the v2.1 upgrade patch. - 140mb
Rocket Arena III win32 client v3.15 (Full) - 90mb

Non-games stuff:
DirectX 8.1 (95/98/98se/Me) - 11.5mb
DirectX 8.1 (2000/XP) - 7.5mb
Office 2000 SR-1a full administrative update - 145mb
Office 2000 SR-1a full update - 51mb
Office 2000 SP2 full administrative update - 30mb
Office 2000 SP2 full update - 9mb
Office 2000 Resource Kit - 9mb

And with my re-downloading of DoD v2.0 again that should blow it out to just over a Gb. Four days, 1gb, 1 64k ISDN line.
hajime
Apr. 26th, 2002 06:01 am (UTC)
Okay, now download the Linux Quake 3 stuff as well. ;) Darryl says that
it might be a physical error with my 60GB drive after all -- reporting
really long delays on boot (I think?). Damnitall. If it is faulty, I
hope we can get an RMA pretty soon.

Nice haul, though. Wish I was there to cackle gleefully over ill-gotten
booty with ye, matie. Aharr! :p

Hum. Ringing. We'll see. I'm barely conscious right now. :D
dsr
Apr. 29th, 2002 02:50 am (UTC)
Bugger mate. Sorry to hear it. But if you weren't enjoying it, then theres the silver lining. Don't be too worried about being out of work, you can always find something else. Hell, theres always maccas *runs*

But seriously, it took me a full month til I found another job in melbourne, so it might even take you longer up there, but it ain't the end of the world. One door closes, another opens up.

Hoping to keep up with u guys more frequently these days, live journal is pretty cool for that...
xian
Apr. 29th, 2002 03:40 pm (UTC)
Holy shit, is this like the second time ever you have used your LJ ?!?!

Hehe.

Yeah, I'm not really worried about finding another job. I've got my job searching skills fairly honed (only with a bit lot of pushing from astrogirl (Clairey) my brother, and of course you =).

Only excuse I have for not ringing you more often is a) lack of interesting news and b) excruciatingly large mobile phone bill last month :p
xin_
Apr. 29th, 2002 02:41 pm (UTC)
I've got my philosophy toooo
Mate,
When ever I am down and it seems that something terrible has happened I alwayz like to think of the worst possible thing that could come of it. Than when I have that terrible thought in planted in my head I stop and think of the best possible thing that could come of this downer. and you will find there is alwayz a greater good.

Adam
xian
Apr. 29th, 2002 03:52 pm (UTC)
Re: I've got my philosophy toooo
There are a couple of major ethics/morals I like to live by:
a) Look at all possible outcomes from any situation and know what I will do if any of those outcomes arise
b) When I make a decision, I stick by it
c) Constantly evaluate my decision afterwards to ensure it was the right decision.

I think I already do try to make the best out of any bad situation; just not in the same way.

I agree, there is always a greater good.
xin_
Apr. 29th, 2002 04:43 pm (UTC)
Re: I've got my philosophy toooo
I also like my lastest Motto really think about this because it alpies to everything

"There is no Right or Wrong, Just popular opinion"

dsr
Apr. 29th, 2002 09:01 pm (UTC)
Re: I've got my philosophy toooo
My two cents worth:

My philosophy on all things, the whole karma thing. What goes around comes around. So if you live life and be fair about everything, then life will treat you back fairly.

3rd time I've used LJ now. *grins*
xin_
Apr. 30th, 2002 01:53 pm (UTC)
Re: I've got my philosophy toooo
I don't like the idea of Karma. Maybe it is because I can be a rightous #$%@ or sumthing just doesn't sit well with me. I would like to think that some people just aren't going to have a good life. Maybe Karma can exist on a universial level. I can how ever see that equalibrium exists and for all reactions there is an equal and postive action. But I think we are guilable to believe this exist on a person to person level.
xian
May. 2nd, 2002 09:12 pm (UTC)
Re: I've got my philosophy toooo
I like the idea of Karma, but its not something I believe wholely and solely in.

That is to say, I don't do things solely because I think it is 'good' or 'bad' - I tend to look back on things I have done and judge them in retrospect of the actions. Make sense?

At the same time, its comforting to know that if I do enough good deeds in this lifetime, in my next life I could be the next .
xian
May. 2nd, 2002 09:14 pm (UTC)
Re: I've got my philosophy toooo
That was meant to be:

"could be the next <insert famous person here>"
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )