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But then I guess I can't really talk. Have I really moved forward with my mind, or my body? My first response is that I have, in general, set out what I achieved to do - which is not much. Granted, I've had dreams that at some point I wanted to realise. But in retrospect, I've never really had the desire to fulfill those dreams. So they never really ever get fulfulled.

It seems to me that since I left high school, the only thing I've ever tried really hard to do is just to live my life. No real dreams, no real aspirations or ambitions; just live each day as it comes and try to hold onto stuff that I enjoy doing. A circle comes to mind; everything was the means to an end, where the end was the means to continue.

Now, I have something that I can work towards. A goal if you like. I won't say what it is here ... well not until I figure out if I am successful or not. And that point won't come for a very long time. Nobody wants to advertise their failure at something important to themselves.

Have you ever found it difficult to find direction in life? What is the purpose of your life? Is it to earn stacks of money, get a spouse and kids and settle down, to become a rock star and die of a drug overdose? Help attain world peace or taste the ultimate aphrodesiac? Everyone wonders about it at some point. For the longest time, I feel like I am totally satisfied with my life. I've talked about this before. The purpose of my life is just to live. To be. If I fail at my "goal", I won't consider it a failure, just an indication to do something else.

Maybe next week I'll be suffering from depression again.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
bbt
Mar. 23rd, 2003 05:51 am (UTC)
Have you ever found it difficult to find direction in life?
all the time

for me there's always been an underlying motivation for creativity, so I guess that helps a little in the goal regard
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )